


broken youth - KakaYama

by uchihakind



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, KakaYama - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Pining, kakashi x tenzo, kakashi x yamato, kakashi/yamato - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21623821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchihakind/pseuds/uchihakind
Summary: college for Kakashi is boring until he ends up rooming with a certain walnut loving man(this is inspired by "Broken Youth" by NICO Touches The Walls, aka Naruto Shippuden's 6th ending theme)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 15
Kudos: 38
Collections: KakaYama Week 2019





	1. Beginnings

The young give up everything for such easy reasons

It wasn’t like Kakashi had wanted things to end up the way they did, though he couldn’t say he didn’t mind it either. Being stuck in college and being told that he’d have to move dorms because of a miscalculation on the Board’s part was something that pissed the silver haired man off to no end, he paid for his special dorm himself! But, when he found himself loading his things into the smaller dorm with a brown haired man residing in it, he figured it wouldn’t be all that bad. Yamato was a stoic, yet gentle and quiet person. He was majoring in Dendrology, a form of botany that really only focused on wood, Kakashi had learned. The younger man was kind of weird too; his eyes were big, yet made his face appear soft, and the mass of fluffy, yet spiky, brown hair that sat atop his head often hung over his eyes, and that made him look somewhat...scary, to say the least. But it never really bothered Kakashi, in fact it gave him more reason to look at his new roommate’s overall handsome features. 

After settling his things in, and introducing himself to his new roommate for the year, Kakashi carried himself to his unmade bed and plopped down across the mess of sheets and comforter that adorned it. Classes start in less than a week huh, he thought. He knew few people here, and knew there would be an extremely small chance of landing a general education class with anyone he even vaguely shared memories with. Might as well ask Yamato what his schedule is like...It couldn’t hurt, right? It was only after Yamato informed Kakashi that they shared both a Trigonometry and Agriculture class that the silverette became excited for college. What were the odds that his new roommate would be in two of the four classes that they’d be attending this semester? It was like a godsend to be able to personally share the pain of the classes that were to come. From there forth, Yamato and Kakashi became close, almost to the point of best-friendship.

In class, both young men sat at the front. Being scholars, they wanted to get the most out of the class that they could, and never miss a beat on the content that was being taught. If that meant pulling all nighters and helping one another with study guides at 3am, then so be it. Yamato stayed quiet, only speaking to Kakashi, the professors, and a few other classmates who attempted to make conversation with the man. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk to people, it was just that he was disinterested in a lot of things other than the plant life he so diligently studied over. And Lord. The amount of girls that would crowd around the desk he shared with Kakashi after class. It was almost like middle school, however it was always him not getting any attention. Yamato admits it, Kakashi is a good looking guy with his silver hair, dark and piercing eyes, and not to mention that he was a well built and tall man too. Is that thought overstepping his boundaries? Probably, but it’s not like he could be bothered to delve into his own personal issues. Kakashi often got flirted with in class, over text, at lunch, and really anywhere they went together, and it was getting really annoying. One time, when they were at the college’s cafeteria, they were sitting at a two person table right next to a window when suddenly some random varsity girls decided to sit their asses right next to the table Kakashi and Yamato had been seated at. Now, this may not seem like an issue, its a table in the cafeteria. A place to sit, right? But when the first girl opened her mouth and the words she spoke left her lips, Kakashi could clearly see Yamato visibly cringe and proceed to roll his eyes at what she had to say regarding “how hot that silver haired boy” is. Said man snorted, and gave a little bit of a chuckle at Yamato’s display. “Dude you should do that thing you do with your face at them,” Kakashi jested. Yamato knew exactly what to do, and he pulled the headband from his forehead, shook his hair out and prepared to do his horror stare. Now, getting the girl’s attention wasn’t any issue at all, however, when he slapped the table a tad too loud, the entire cafeteria looked over to see him giving the yappy girl such a crude stare that it seemed like everything in the room had ceased to move. It was Kakashi’s boisterous laughter, that almost sounded like he was crying, that ripped the brown haired fiend from his stare off with the girl. Kakashi wheezed, and banged his fist on the table. Yamato had done that stare at so many people on so many occasions, and it was only in this instance that everyone had gotten caught in his freak of a look. He cracked a smile, and at his older friend’s behavior he too burst into a fit of laughter that left him with an aching pain in his stomach. From that day forward, the two men were left alone, at least at lunch. Class, however, was a different story.

Though class went on as normal, with Yamato and Kakashi occasionally asking each other questions on the content, or how to do a problem, things were fine. It was only after class that really bothered the two of them. Getting into class? Fine! However, leaving class was as difficult as ever because they were stopped due to Kakashi being confessed to by people neither of them knew. Typical, huh. Kakashi was a heartthrob for everyone, even Yamato found himself giving his friend more glances than he should have given out. Though he didn't know most of the people that had affection for him, it would be a lie to say that Kakashi hadn’t made a lot of friends in his other classes and around campus in general. He had plenty of friends, both male and female, however his comfort was always in Yamato. Their dorm was like a castle, and they were the rulers. Whether they spent all day snacking and playing Smash, or studying their asses off to do good on their shared exams, it was always Yamato and the dorm they shared that kept Kakashi grounded. It would also be a lie to say that Kakashi hadn’t started developing feelings for a girl in his major. He had always wanted to be a teacher; wanted to be able to teach others what he’s learned through his years, and be there for those who needed a helping hand. When he first met Akira, he thought nothing special about her. However, as time went on he found himself paying more and more attention to the girl. It’s just infatuation, Kakashi thought to himself. He has no time for relationships, he’s gotta hang out with the boys and study the things he likes. He’s got boxing and kendo practice to attend, and on top of that, weight training with Yamato. There is absolutely no way he could squeeze in a relationship even if he wanted too. Though.... It was becoming tempting. 

When Kakashi brought Akira to lunch on Monday, it completely shattered Yamato’s mood. His friend introduced the girl to him, and he just grunted and went to retrieve a plate of the same lunch he ate almost everyday. “He’s really not that much of a talker,” Kakashi said to her. She simply nodded, and sat down at the chair Kakashi had pulled out for her.  
All while he was scooping the hot foods onto his plate, Yamato wracked his brain for an answer as to why it felt like there was a pit in his stomach, and a weight on his heart. It was almost like he was jealous, and maybe even sad? There is no way I have a crush on Kakashi Hatake. No. He’s my best friend. His immediate conclusion was that he couldn’t have a crush on his best friend, however, he thought, if that’s the first thing that came to his mind then he must be denying the truth! Despite his awkward conclusion, Yamato smiled to himself. He thought fondly of all the time he spent with Kakashi. The horror movies they watched on the couch together, the shitty smash tournaments they held (that were really only 1v1), the endless hours of studying for exams and the regret they shared for not sleeping the next morning…. He had to admit, he really enjoyed dorming with his friend. Second semester had already been well on its way, and miraculously they had scored another class together. His reminiscing was short-lived, however, as he sat down and Kakashi questioned “what has you all smiling and happy?” Yamato immediately dropped his expression and ushered out a curt “nothing!” which Kakashi didn’t buy, but he didn’t press for further answers. As he dug into his food and Kakashi and Akira discussed, Yamato re-entered his thoughts. Am I absolutely positive I really do like him? Do I just appreciate him? I mean I have thought about wanting to hold him in my arms more than once but…. His thoughts rambled on, and he began to think of how much his friendship with the silver haired man meant to him. Despite Yamato being a homebody, and being a quiet, reserved, and not the most attractive or fun guy, Kakashi, a man he admired, was his friend. He had done so much for Yamato. From teaching him things the teacher couldn’t get across to him, to giving him advice on how to go about internal situations that even he couldn’t understand. One thing that really made Yamato decide on his feelings, however, is the fact that when he finally told Kakashi about his messed up home-life with his father, Danzo, Kakashi never treated him differently because of it. He was quiet and reserved because when he actually talked to people about his feelings and his traumas, it was like they forgot who he was, and pitied him. Not Hatake, though. Whenever Yamato opened up, Kakashi met him halfway.

Lunch ended, and it was time to make it back to their kingdom of a dorm. Kakashi and Akira said their goodbyes, and parted ways. The two friends exited the cafeteria building in silence, and eventually made it to the sidewalk that lead to their complex, however, Kakashi cut the silence with a question, “What has you so wrapped up in that head of yours?” Yamato looked over to his friend and again, replied with “nothing,” to which the other male let him know he could tell him anything. Boy was he wrong. Yamato couldn’t tell him he’s gone homo for him! They made their way to their door, and Kakashi swiped his keycard in the door, and both men ushered into their shared room. Shoving through the door, Yamato dumped his whopping weight of a bag next to their small coffee table, and Kakashi followed suit, also dumping his things and following his friend to their kitchen where Yamato was headed. Though Kakashi wasn’t one to pry, he could very obviously tell that his friend was feeling something that he couldn’t deal with on his own. Reaching up to the cabinet for a glass, Yamato found himself in a corner, trapped by Kakashi. His friend crossed his arms, and looked him straight in the eyes. Who knew a scar could be so menacing even when it is staring at you with concern?  
“Tenzo,” Kakashi started, breath catching in Yamato’s throat at the use of his first name. “I know something is really nagging at you. Will you please let me in?” his steely eyes seemed to beg. Yamato didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t a good liar, and if he got flustered in front of Kakashi, he’d know immediately that something was getting to him as the stone-faced man never showed emotions much, outside of anger and happiness, that is. The only thing Yamato could think to do was tell him the truth. Well, a half truth at least.  
“Kakashi I think I may have a crush on you,” he blurted out. He held his breath, closed his eyes, and pushed past his stunned friend in silence. Leaving the man to stand on the cold tile, Yamato hopped into his covers, and curled into a tiny ball of shame and slept for the remainder of the day. 

When Yamato awoke, he turned over and glanced out of the crack between his comforter and his bed, and saw Kakashi working diligently at his desk, surrounded by a scatter of papers and open textbooks. His silver hair was hanging over his face, his palm pressed up against his cheek in the cute way Yamato couldn’t stand not to look at. He wrote with his “special” orange, glittery mechanical pencil, one that Yamato had lent him at the beginning of the year, to which Kakashi claimed he wouldn’t lose it like he did all the others. “7 months into the year and he still hadn’t broken his promise, huh,” Yamato mused.  
His observations were cut short, however, when Kakashi broke the silence with a simple “I made dinner, your omelette is in the microwave. I blotted the oil off of it the way you like it,” and returned to his work.  
Yamato gave a short “hm” in response and stayed tucked into the warm shell of his covers. It would be too embarrassing to leave his shield of warmth, if he left now, he’d be out in the cold and be berated with the silence that was his own shame.  
“You know it wouldn’t be a lie to say I’d been feeling the same way about you,” Kakashi finally spoke. Yamato froze, he had to be hearing things, right? There was no way he heard him right, right? The confession was practically forced out of him from embarrassment, and Hatake had totally been digging that chick at the cafeteria! Why else would he have brought her to their spot? Millions of thoughts ran through his mind, but the words that were ripped from his mouth made his silver haired friend's eyes widen.  
"It doesn't matter, Kakashi, you don't have to humor me. Just forget it."  
With that, Yamato pushed passed him and out to the kitchen to retrieve his now cold dinner.


	2. dissonance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took so long. i definitely failed my math final but honestly? fuck it i hate school. im on break now tho so hopefully ill have more motivation to update this

Days passed, and neither man had spoken to each other. How could Yamato have denied his own advances? It was painful, especially after Kakashi had chosen not to sit at their two seater and instead placed himself halfway across the cafeteria with that girl- what was her name? - it didn’t matter. It hurt, and that's all Yamato knew. It was like a shitty highschool romance gone wrong and he’d do anything to go back on what he had said. It happened so fast, and, after all, time does fly when you’re in college. But, he wished things so important to his heart didn’t fly by like it was nothing. 

“Kakashi I am queen of the gays, my girlfriend- you know her, Anko?- yeah! I know ALL the methods of wooing someone of the same gender,” Akira pushed to her silver haired friend. She found Kakashi’s mess of a situation extremely laughable. When he had told her that she was the only other friend he could discuss his dilemma with, she wasted no time on insisting she sit with him at the cafeteria to discuss. But boy, did that backfire. During their first little meeting they had, well, you know, not that great of a turn out. Kakashi had been far too enveloped in Yamato’s aloof reaction to her being there, and Yamato had been too hurt to act logically. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell him that I don’t think this situation is a joke. He walks away from me and avoids me; I don’t even know how since we sleep in the same room!” an exasperated Kakashi breathed. He was getting sick of this waiting game, and seeing Yamato peel out of his sheets with his disheveled, yet sexy bed head hair was only making the silver haired man impatient, and Kakashi is the most laid back guy anyone knows. Few things irk him, but being deliberately ignored by the man who has his heart, because of a simple misunderstanding, just hurt him in general. In all honesty, Akira was getting fed up with Kakashi's complaining. Yes it was partially her fault, but had Yamato not been such a baby this wouldn't be an issue. She didn't know the man on a personal level like she did Kakashi, but she knew that someone his age should be able to act with at least a little rationality. She sighed at his statement, and didn't respond because she didn't know how. Yamato was being difficult, but so was the silver haired male. If they really wanted things to work out, they'd have thrown their pride out already. She mulled this thought over, and expressed it to Kakashi, and he responded with a wide-eyed look. 

Unlike Kakashi, Yamato had no one to turn to to speak with. He wasn’t even sure if he had his old friend Iruka’s number anymore. Despite Yamato’s lack of close relationships, that never seemed to be a problem for his roommate. Yamato was finding Kakashi out of the dorm more and more often, and it wasn’t like Kakashi wasn’t busy, it's just that his usual time home was spent together, but due to this “development,” the silver haired man had replaced his home time for less awkward goings. However, because of this, Yamato was able to focus on his studies and catch up on work instead of procrastinating with a shitty Death Smiles tournament. While it was a nice break from distractions, Yamato longed for that missing piece of his day. His days were longer, boring, and ultimately just lame because his companion was missing, and he was missing him too. However, this was also a blessing. Yamato was able to stay within the confines of his solitude and not be distracted from his studies. While it was a good way for Yamato to kick back and focus, he found himself lonelier than he had ever been. He was aware that he should have spoken up sooner, but the aggravation and shame that talking it out would probably bring was too much for him to deal with. He had other things to focus on rather than some romance gone wrong. It was laughable, though it was a shame he had no one to laugh about it with. Maybe had he never said anything he wouldn't be put in such a frustrating and sad situation anyway. Yamato smiled himself a disappointed look, and inwardly laughed at himself for being so pathetic about it. Nonetheless, he continued to carry out the task he set out to do during class, and shook away the bothersome thoughts in his head.


	3. aruarian dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i watched samurai champloo for the first time, this is for you, Mugen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo i am so sorry for the extended hiatus. my mental health is really bad and I've been balancing a lot and decided I shouldn't wait any longer to update. this chapter is short but ive spent a few days on it given that I have zero motivation anymore

Kakashi mulled over what his friend had told him; was his pride really worth more than a friendship, and possible relationship to him? He wondered if Yamato felt the same, and he could figure that out by asking a simple question, but how was he supposed to approach him after so long? His feelings for the brunette male didn’t fade, but the ache in his heart for him grew into sadness. Why was it that he got rejected, even after Yamato’s own confession? And why was it that neither of them could bring themselves to do anything about it? All these thoughts ran through Kakashi’s mind, and he became increasingly frustrated as he sat at his desk. Gripping his lucky orange pencil tightly, he shook, hoping to get his anger out. His eyes were squeezed tight, and he was very obviously battling an internal struggle, but no one noticed. He heaved out a sigh, shook his head, and returned to the research rubric that was splayed out in front of him. He underlined keywords the Professor had recommended they note, but as time went on he found himself doodling in the margins. A walnut, a shitty one at that, was scribbled into the margin, doodled next to it was that stupid swirly symbol that was always on Yamato’s headbands. Whatever brand it was, it was etched into Kakashi’s brain, and he felt like an idiot for even thinking of the boy during the one class he lacked his presence in. Grimacing at himself, he decided to bite the bullet and make his feelings known to Yamato that day. 

Trudging to his shared dorm, away from his long string of classes, Kakashi wracked his brain on how to approach Yamato. Maybe winging it would be the best option, he thought, honestly that's how they got into this situation in the first place. He decided he would make his claims today and bear all the shame that might be brought with it. Mindlessly, Kakashi swiped his keycard through the little device attached to the door and didn’t miss a beat when opening it after the familiar beep rang throughout the dorm hall. Tilting his head back with a sigh, the man pushed forward and into the darkened room. He dumped his things off in the usual spot he did, not hearing or seeing signs of Tenzo being there. The man sheds his jacket, it being unbearably warm as opposed to the crisp and cool air outside, and makes his way to the fridge to crack open a can of peach flavored tea. Shuffling to their shared bedroom, Kakashi makes note of the blanket covered lump on his bed. A small fan is pointed at the mass, and there are very obvious signs of life carried through the repeated heave of a chest. Clasping a hand over his mouth at the realization of who had taken his spot, Kakashi freezes in his place. The blood rushes to his face at the cute scene laid out in front of him, and he finds himself speechless. Yamato flips over, his head just sticking out of the deep grey comforter that smelled like his roommate, and his eyes begin to make out the form of Kakashi that had become stuck still. Both men stop, an intense awkwardness fills the room, both of their cheeks aflame. Kakashi opens his mouth, but only noise makes its way out of the back of his throat before it dies out. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" a flustered Yamato screeches out.

"What am I doing? What are YOU doing!" Kakashi presses. "That's my bed you freak, you have your own!"

They stay flabbergasted, Kakashi more confused than anything, and Yamato insanely embarrassed because he was supposed to wake up from his little nap earlier. As Kakashi begins to step back to make his way out of the room, the brunette male shoots his hand out to grip his friend's wrist. Making intense eye contact, Yamato announced the worst sentence that could have been asked of Kakashi.

"Why is it that you keep leaving me?" he uttered. Shock covers both of their faces, Kakashi some what offended that it would even be suggested that he was running away. It was Yamato's fault that Kakashi's shared feelings weren't taken seriously. But again, it was a reoccurrence of the same issue he had wanted to confront Yamato for to begin with. Manning up, the silver haired man sighs and calms himself, meeting Yamato's pleading eyes once more. His hair is in disarray, the grip on Kakashi's wrist is tight and almost painful, but it certified that he didn't want to let his male counterpart go. It really shouldn't be this difficult, Kakashi thought, but life was nothing easy for him to begin with. Not knowing how to respond, he offered a light smile and considered his options of what to say to his fragile friend.


	4. way of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy my depression has me dead but idk im staying up all night so i can see when my bf wakes up :(

It was odd to him. Yamato was never the kind of man to be so pleading, but here Kakashi stood, witnessing the deep-rooted pain in his crush's eyes that threatened to spill out in the form of fat tears. He was being held onto, held close in the brunette's painful grip. Time was moving faster the longer they stared at each other. Kakashi was speechless, he genuinely didn't know how to respond to a situation like this, or how to react for that matter. He settled with dropping into his bed, next to the man holding him.

"I'm sorry," were the first words out of the silver haired man's mouth. He repeated it once more, then again. Yamato shifted himself up against the headboard as Kakashi repeatedly apologized for the unintentional mistreatment. Short, heavy breaths puffed from his lips as he did so, and tears threatened to escape the tightly shut lashes that the man beheld. Yamato quickly realized that Kakashi was in a much worse state than he originally believed, and so he instinctively began to try calming the man. He released his hand from the other's wrist, and placed both palms on Kakashi's face. 

"Hey, hey...It-it's alright. Calm down...I'm- I didn't mean to upset you," he whispered. Kakashi looked up, and into his eyes once more, the scar running along his face was closer to Yamato than it had ever been before. He ceased his repetitive apologies, and smiled a bit. His hand reached up to touch Yamato's own, and Kakashi grasped it with both. He rubbed his face against it, streaking tears being smudged into one another's skin as he murmured a quiet "I think I'm okay now." Yamato breathed a small sigh, and made the assertion that they needed to sort this entire situation out. The other nodded, and agreed that he was ready to fix this mess, smiling as he was being held closer to the other man. 

\---- -----

After a long needed discussion, Yamato and Kakashi were at a stand still. They professed their love for one another, but didn't know what to do next. Were they boyfriends? Were they dating? What was going on? It was weird, but they felt happy, and calm, some emotions they hadn't felt in a long time. However, they did feel exhausted from the crying and emotional spill they had both been holding off from. They cuddled under Kakashi's blanket, smushed against one another in the small dorm bed. It wasn't too comfortable, but it wasn't uncomfortable either. They felt cozy, their pinkies intertwined, the silver haired one dozing off to sleep. It was peaceful, to say the least. They could figure this all out tomorrow, even with the unfinished assignments tucked away in their bags.

**Author's Note:**

> this took forever , also i do not own Naruto, Kakashi, or Yamato. I will continue this if it gets good enough recognition u feel? no sense in posting something that no one will read lol


End file.
